英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話7則

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話7則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：When a Tiger comes

　　Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.

　　One of the guys takes out a pair of Nikes from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?

　　His friend replies: I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you.

　　老虎來(lái)了

　　兩個(gè)男人正在穿過(guò)叢林，突然，一只老虎出現(xiàn)在遠(yuǎn)處，向他們沖來(lái)。

　　當(dāng)中的一個(gè)人從包里拿出一雙耐克跑鞋，開始穿上。另一個(gè)人驚奇地看著他說(shuō)，你以為穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過(guò)老虎嗎?

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting room, I asked the saleswoman if she had seen my mother. What does she look like? the clerk asked.

　　My husband said simply, She just lost ten pounds.

　　Third door on the left. the woman replied with a smile.

　　媽媽為她減肥十磅而非常自豪。在和我們小兩口一起去商場(chǎng)的路上，她別無(wú)所談。我們把她送到女內(nèi)衣部，在那兒分手，但當(dāng)我們回來(lái)找她時(shí)，卻找不見她。我想她也許會(huì)在試衣室，就問(wèn)售貨員是否見過(guò)我母親。她長(zhǎng)得什么樣?這位職員問(wèn)。

　　我丈夫直截了當(dāng)?shù)卣f(shuō)：她剛減了十磅。

　　左邊第三個(gè)門，女售貨員笑瞇瞇地回答。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　A guy spots his doctor in the mall. He stops him and says, Six weeks ago when I was in your office, you told me to go home, get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called.

　　I didn't? the doctor says. Then what are you doing out of bed?

　　一人在購(gòu)物中心偶遇他的醫(yī)生。他走上前去說(shuō)：六周以前我在你的辦公室，你告訴我讓我回家去臥床直到你來(lái)訪。但你從未來(lái)訪。

　　我沒(méi)去嗎?醫(yī)生說(shuō)，那你現(xiàn)在下床干什么?

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：Guns Buried in the Garden

　　An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in

　　prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.

　　He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!

　　At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.

　　Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

　　His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.

　　埋在花園里的槍

　　一個(gè)老人獨(dú)居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨(dú)生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰(shuí)可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說(shuō)道：看在上帝的面上，千萬(wàn)不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。

　　第二天凌晨4點(diǎn)，一隊(duì)英國(guó)士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒(méi)有找到任何槍支。

　　老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問(wèn)到底發(fā)生了什么事情，下一步應(yīng)該怎么做。

　　兒子回信道：你只管種土豆好了。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：喂狗 For the Dog

　　The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

　　"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

　　"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

　　一家人在飯館里吃過(guò)晚飯，父親把服務(wù)生叫了過(guò)來(lái)。

　　”先生，什么事?“服務(wù)生問(wèn)。

　　”我兒子的盤子里剩下許多肉，“父親說(shuō)，”能給我們一個(gè)袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。“

　　”啊呀，爸爸!“兒子激動(dòng)地叫喊著。”咱家養(yǎng)狗了嗎?“

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：腦移植 A Brain Transplant

　　The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

　　"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For 00 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for ,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

　　The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

　　The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

　　一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生正要作一個(gè)腦移植手術(shù)。

　　“你可以從兩個(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你。”醫(yī)生告訴病人，“一個(gè)心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個(gè)政治家的大腦10000美元。

　　病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問(wèn)。

　　醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“不是好一些，只是沒(méi)有用過(guò)。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：最丑的孩子

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機(jī)看到后說(shuō)：“額，那是我這輩子見過(guò)的最丑的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對(duì)旁邊的男士說(shuō)：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應(yīng)說(shuō)：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”