幽默笑話，能讓你在信手翻啟間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放松、心緒的怦然萌動(dòng)、情感的欣然釋放。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)碛哪の兜?a href='http://www.yishupeixun.net/english/yuedu/xiaohua/' target='_blank'>英語笑話五則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：馬打電話來了

　　A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of thei head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for ?"She says, " I found a piece of paper in your pocket with'Betty Sue' written on it.' Ha says, "Jeez,honey, 'Betty Sue'was the name of the horse I bet on.H She shrugs and walks away.

　　一個(gè)家伙正在看報(bào)紙，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問道：“這是為什么?”她說：“我在你口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張寫有‘BettY Sue’的紙條。"他說：¨哎呀，親愛的，‘BettYSue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字。口她聳了聳肩，走了。

　　Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?一she answers, "Your horse called."

　　三天后，他正在看報(bào)紙，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問：這又是為什么?“她答道：-你的馬打電話來了。”

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：我要射死他

　　A:What would you do if you find your husband date with another woman?

　　A：如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你丈夫與別的女人約會你會怎么做?

　　B:lill open one eye and close one eye.

　　B：我會睜一只眼，閉一只眼。

　　A:How kind you are!

　　A:你太善良了!

　　B：No，I'II shoot him!

　　B：不，我要射死他

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：我希望你是報(bào)紙

　　Wife talking to her husband ( who reads the newspaper all day):"1 wish l were a newspaper so 1 would be in your hands all day.”

　　妻子對整天坐在那里看報(bào)紙的丈夫說：¨我希望我就是報(bào)紙，這樣你就可以整天把我捧在手上了。”

　　Husband: "1 wish that too,so I could change you daily."

　　丈夫說：¨我也希望你是報(bào)紙，那樣的話我可以天天換新的。"

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：他為什么喊

　　Dentist: Please stop howting.I haven't even touchsd your tooth yet.

　　牙醫(yī)：請你不要再喊了!我還沒碰你的牙呢。

　　Patient: I know,but you are standing on my foot!

　　病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀!

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：照相機(jī)

　　On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?

　　在前往威蒙特參加一個(gè)婚禮的路上，我和丈夫意識到我們忘了帶照相機(jī)。我們在一家百貨商店門前停了下來，希望能夠買到一種便宜的，一次性照相機(jī)。薩爾問店主：“你們有那種用了就扔的照相機(jī)嗎?”

　　"Look,fella," replied the owner, "I don't care what you do with it after you buy it."

　　“我說，小伙子，”店主回答說，”我可不管你買了之后怎么處理它。”