外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默故事四則

　　笑話是一種增強(qiáng)快樂(lè)的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單，文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn)，給人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話四則，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話：上天堂還是下地獄

　　Two guys recently dead were given the option to stay either in Heaven or Hell fog the rest of their eternity. They asked if it was OK to look around first, and to their surprise,it was.First, they went to Heaven. All niceguys were there, dressed in white they sat on clouds playing harp. Quite a boring place, thought our heroes.

　　兩個(gè)家伙死了之后，被允許選擇是愿意呆在天堂還是地獄。他們提出能否到兩個(gè)地方先觀光一下，他們被允許了。首先他們來(lái)到了天堂。這里都是穿著白衣服看上去很正派的人，他們坐在白云上彈奏著豎琴。他們想:這是個(gè)多無(wú)聊的地方呀。

　　"Let' s go to Hell，”they said to each other.

　　“讓我們下地獄吧，”他們互相商量著。

　　Hell turned out to be a completely different scene. It was all bars, casino andamusement parks. Free drinks for everyone and a lot of people having a real good time.Back from Hell，the guys were asked to choose between Heaven and Hell. They both chose Hell.

　　他們來(lái)到了地獄，這里簡(jiǎn)直是一番完全不同的景色。那里有酒吧、賭場(chǎng)和游樂(lè)園。每個(gè)人都可以免費(fèi)喝酒，所有的人都享受著他們真正的快樂(lè)時(shí)光。當(dāng)他們從地獄回來(lái)以后，他們不得不在天堂和地獄之間做出選擇。最后，他們都選擇了下地獄。

　　Back in Hell, they were immediately scuffled in the back of a sub-surface car and driven to a coalmine. Someone gave them a shovel each and told them to start working.

　　回到了地獄之后，他們立即被送進(jìn)了一輛礦井車的后座，然后駛向了一個(gè)煤礦井。有人給他們每人一個(gè)鏟子，叫他們開(kāi)始工作。

　　"What' s this? The last time we were here the place was entirely different.”

　　“這是怎么回事?上次我們?cè)谶@里的時(shí)候完全不是這樣的。”

　　"Yes, but then you were tourists, now you are immigrants.

　　“是的，但是那時(shí)你們是游客，現(xiàn)在你們是移民。”

　　外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話：報(bào)復(fù)

　　In the army a company of soldiers decided to have some fun with their company cook, a short, fat, very un-martial young man. So every morning before he woke up, one of them would defecate into his boot. The amazing thing was that the cook accepted this treatment silently. Every morning he would clean out his boot and go to work as if nothing was wrong.

　　軍隊(duì)里的一個(gè)連的士兵決定捉弄捉弄他們連的炊事員，一個(gè)又矮又胖又弱小的年輕人。就這樣，每天早上在他睡醒之前，一個(gè)士兵會(huì)往他的靴子里大便。令人吃驚的是這個(gè)炊事員平靜地接受了這種待遇。每天早上他都會(huì)弄干凈他的靴子然后若無(wú)其事地去工作。

　　After several weeks of this, the soldiers began to tire of the game; it wasn't very much fun because the cook never reacted, and they were beginning to feel guilty as well. So they sent a delegation to apologize to him and promise to mend their ways. The cook heard them out, and then said, "You are going to stop shitting in my boots? Fine, then I will stop pissing in your coffee.”

　　就這樣過(guò)了幾個(gè)星期，士兵們開(kāi)始厭煩了這種游戲。因?yàn)槟莻€(gè)炊事員從來(lái)沒(méi)有任何反應(yīng)，使得這種捉弄根本沒(méi)那么有意思，也讓他們覺(jué)得有些內(nèi)疚。所以，他們派了一個(gè)代表去向那個(gè)炊事員道歉并保證以后不再那么做了。當(dāng)那個(gè)炊事員聽(tīng)他們說(shuō)出了真相后說(shuō):“你們真的不往我的靴子里大便了?那好吧，那我也不再往你們的咖啡里小便了。”

　　外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話：講出故事的結(jié)尾

　　The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned，her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and them…”

　　一個(gè)女人離開(kāi)家兩天，到另一個(gè)城市去看望一個(gè)生病的朋友。當(dāng)她回來(lái)的時(shí)候，她的小兒子見(jiàn)到她就說(shuō):“媽媽，你猜怎么著?昨天我在你臥室的衣柜里玩，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨走進(jìn)了臥室，他們脫了衣服上了你的床……”

　　Sonny’s mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me. " The father came home. As he walked into the house，his wife said，"I' m leaving you. I' m packing now and I' m leaving you.”

　　媽媽抓住他的手說(shuō):“不要講了，等到你爸爸回家了，你就把和我講的全部講給他聽(tīng)。”孩子的爸爸回來(lái)了。當(dāng)他走近房間的時(shí)候他的妻子說(shuō):“我要離開(kāi)你。我現(xiàn)在就收拾好行李，我要走了。”

　　"But why--"asked the startled father.

　　“但是，這是為什么?”他吃驚地問(wèn)。

　　"Go ahead，Sonny. Tell Daddy just what you told me.”

　　“講給他聽(tīng)，兒子，把你告訴我的講給他聽(tīng)聽(tīng)。”

　　"Well,”Sonny said，"I was playing in your bedroom closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and then they did just what you did with Uncle John when Daddy was away last summer.”

　　“好吧，”那個(gè)小家伙說(shuō)，“我正在你臥室的衣柜里玩的時(shí)候，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨上樓來(lái)，然后他們脫了衣服上了床。然后，他們就像是去年夏天爸爸不在家時(shí)你和約翰叔叔一樣。”

　　外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話：金色的酒吧

　　One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife ( who is suspecting he’s cheating on her) questions his whereabouts…

　　一天深夜，一個(gè)男人稍有醉意回到家中。他的妻子問(wèn)他去哪了(她有些懷疑他的話)。

　　Wife: "Where were you?"

　　妻子:“你去哪了?”

　　Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden.”

　　丈夫:“我去了一個(gè)叫金色酒吧的新開(kāi)張的酒吧。里面的一切都是金的。”

　　Wife: "Sure you were. There' s no such place”

　　妻子:“你真去了嗎? 根本沒(méi)有這種地方!”

　　Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even golden urinals !”

　　丈夫:“有!那里有一扇大金門(mén)，金地板和金的便池!”

　　Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%.”

　　妻子:‘好，就算我惻言你!”

　　So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar. She’s surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides to call up and check this out for herself…

　　第二天，他的妻子在電話號(hào)碼簿里查金色酒吧的電話。使她吃驚的是金色酒吧就在他們住的小鎮(zhèn)的另一頭。她決定打電話過(guò)去證實(shí)一下她丈夫的話。

　　Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"

　　妻子:“這里是金色酒吧嗎?”

　　Bartender: "Yes it is.”

　　酒吧服務(wù)員:“是的，金色酒吧。”

　　Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors? "

　　妻子:“你們那里是不是有一扇金色大門(mén)?”

　　Bartender: "Yes we do…”

　　酒吧服務(wù)員:“是的，我們有......”

　　Wife: "Do you have golden floors?"

　　妻子:“你們的地板也是金色的?”

　　Bartender; "We have them, too…”

　　酒吧服務(wù)員:“是的，這也對(duì)……”

　　Wife: "What about golden urinals?"

　　妻子:“那有沒(méi)有金色便池?”

　　Bartender( speaking away from phone):"Hey Max，I think we have a lead on the guy that fouled your alto-sax.”

　　酒吧服務(wù)員在電話那頭問(wèn):“嘿，馬克斯，我認(rèn)為那天有人往你的高音薩克斯里小便的事有線索了。”