外國最新幽默笑話閱讀
外國最新幽默笑話閱讀
笑話是一種增強(qiáng)快樂的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情節(jié)簡單,文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn),給人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)硗鈬钚掠哪υ?,希望大家喜歡!
外國最新幽默笑話:疼痛之極
A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."
一個(gè)傷痕累累的建筑工人沖進(jìn)了一家醫(yī)院,醫(yī)生馬上讓護(hù)士去拿止痛藥,“不必麻煩您了,醫(yī)生。”那人說道,“比這更痛的傷我都經(jīng)歷過了。”
"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.
“比現(xiàn)在的傷還要痛嗎?”醫(yī)生問。
"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM,the thing snapped shut on my balls."
“我先說說讓我感到還不是最痛苦的那件事吧,一天我在打獵的時(shí)候突然想要大便,于是就脫掉褲子蹲在地上,不料被捕熊的夾子絆倒了,那東西夾住了我的皋丸。”
The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"
醫(yī)生聽后顫抖了一下,說道“太可怕了,那告訴我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”
"When I reached the end of the chain."
“當(dāng)我摸到鎖鏈盡端的時(shí)候。”
外國最新幽默笑話:與上帝為伍
A farmer purchases an old,run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds,the farmhouse is falling apart,and the fences are collapsing all around.
一個(gè)農(nóng)民買了一塊破舊荒廢的農(nóng)場,他準(zhǔn)備把這塊農(nóng)場變成興旺的園林。然而目前這塊地是雜草叢生,房屋破舊不堪,四周的籬笆也是東倒西歪。
During his first day of work,the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work,saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
在他第一天工作的時(shí)候,城里的一個(gè)傳教士給他送去了祝福:“愿上帝與你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)你的夢想吧!”
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold,it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition,there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens,and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
幾個(gè)月以后,那個(gè)傳教士又一次來到農(nóng)場,快看那,這里與上次相比簡直是天壤之別。房屋重新修好了,條件也比以前好多了,成群的牛羊在歡快地吃著青草,地里的莊稼也整整齊齊的排列著。
"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
“太神奇了”,傳教士驚呼道:“看那,上帝和你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)了你的夢想!”
"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
“沒錯(cuò),教士,”那個(gè)農(nóng)民說道:“可你也要記住當(dāng)初這個(gè)農(nóng)場只由上帝一人支配的時(shí)候是個(gè)什么樣子!”
外國最新幽默笑話:教育階段
The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning.”
一天工程系的主任走進(jìn)一個(gè)班,說道:“早上好。”
The whole class chorused" Good Morning”
全班齊聲回復(fù):“早上好。”
"Hi,you are freshmen aren’t you?" he asked.
“你們是大一的吧?”主任問道。
One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.
一個(gè)膽子比較大的同學(xué)問主任是怎么知道的。
"Well,”he said. "When I say‘Good Morning' to a class,if they are freshmen they say Good Morning' too. If they are sophomores,they quietly fold their papers away,and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down.”
“嗯,”主任說,“如果是大一的新生,當(dāng)我向他們問早上好的時(shí)候,他們也一定會(huì)說‘早上好’的。如果他們是大二的學(xué)生,他們會(huì)輕輕地合上課本,然后集體望著我。大三的學(xué)生則會(huì)從書本上抬起頭看我一眼,然后馬上又繼續(xù)讀書了。大四的學(xué)生則會(huì)對(duì)我視而不見,繼續(xù)看書。至于研究生班的學(xué)生,我向他們問早上好,他們就會(huì)把這句話寫在筆記上。”
外國最新幽默笑話:荒誕哲學(xué)
"God is Dead.” –Nietzsche
尼采說:“上帝死了。”
"Nietzsche is dead. " –God
上帝說:“尼采死了。”
"Therefore, Nietzsche is God. "-Plato
柏拉圖說:“這樣看來,尼采就是上帝。”