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　　外國最新趣味笑話：早退

　　These two construction workers always noticed that their boss always left early on Fridays. So one asked the other that if the boss left early next Friday if he would want to also. The other man agreed.

　　兩個(gè)建筑工人發(fā)現(xiàn)他們的老板總是在周五提前下班。所以，一個(gè)工人問另一個(gè)，如果下周五老板還早走，他們能不能也早走。另一個(gè)人同意了。

　　Sure enough, when Friday came，the boss left early. Therefore，the two men left also. The one offered the other to join him down at the bar, but he decided to just head on home. When he arrived home，he heard a noise from upstairs. When he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed that the noise was coming from the bedroom. He opened the door and saw his boss sleeping with his wife, so he quietly closed the door and headed back down the stairs and out the front door.

　　不出所料，周五的時(shí)候老板又提前走了，因此他們兩個(gè)也走了。一個(gè)工人邀請另一個(gè)去酒吧，但是另一個(gè)決定要直接回家。當(dāng)他到家以后聽到有聲音從樓上傳來。他走到樓上時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)聲音是從臥室傳出來的。他打開臥室的門看見他的老板和他的妻子在一起，所以他輕輕的關(guān)上門，然后下樓沖出了大門。

　　He made his way down to the bar to see if his friend was still there and he was. His friend asked，"I thought you were headed home.”The man replied，"I did，but this is the last time I ever leave work early again.” His friend asked, “Why's that?" The man replied, "The boss almost caught me.”

　　他來到了酒吧，看到了他的朋友還在那里。他的朋友問他:“我以為你直接回家了。”那個(gè)男人回答:“我是回家了，但是這是我最后一次早退，我再也不那么做了。”他的朋友問:“為什么?”那個(gè)男人回答:“老板差一點(diǎn)抓住我。”

　　外國最新趣味笑話：價(jià)錢

　　In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I' m afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, semi一risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”

　　醫(yī)院里親戚們在等候室里，他們家里的一員病得很重。最后，醫(yī)生走進(jìn)來，他看上去有些疲憊和優(yōu)慮。“我恐怕帶來了不好的消息”，他看著那一張張擔(dān)心的面孔說，“你們挽救你們最親愛的人惟一的機(jī)會(huì)，就是大腦移植了。這種手術(shù)還屬于試驗(yàn)階段，只有一半成功的可能性。你們要為移植的大腦付錢。”

　　The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "hell, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, “，000 for a male brain, and X200 for a female brain.” The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually looked.

　　家庭成員聽到這個(gè)消息時(shí)都沉默地坐在那里。過了很長時(shí)間，有人問:“天哪，一個(gè)大腦要多少錢?”醫(yī)生馬上回答:“男性大腦要五千美元，女性大腦要二百美元。”這時(shí)氣氛變得尷尬。屋子里的男性忍著不笑出來，避免和女人有眼神的接觸，但還是有人看了看她們。

　　A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask，"Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said, "It' s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains，because they've been used.”

　　一個(gè)男人終于控制不了自己的好奇心，問了一個(gè)每個(gè)人都想知道的問題:“為什么男性的大腦這么值錢?”醫(yī)生對那個(gè)幼稚無知的人笑了笑，對所有人說:“這是標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的價(jià)格。我們不得不對女性的大腦減價(jià)，因?yàn)樗齻兊拇竽X是用過的。”

　　外國最新趣味笑話：魔鏡

　　One late night, a blonde was traveling when she passed a hotel and decided to stop for the night. When she entered the hotel，she rented a room for the night and on her way up, she heard some ladies talking in the hall about a secret mirror in the girl’s washroom on the bottom floor.

　　一天深夜，一個(gè)旅途中的金發(fā)女郎路過一個(gè)賓館，她決定在那里停下來住一夜。她走進(jìn)賓館租了一間房準(zhǔn)備住一個(gè)晚上。當(dāng)她上樓的時(shí)候，她聽到大廳里一些女人正在談?wù)撘粯桥l(wèi)生間里有關(guān)神秘鏡的事情。

　　The blonde became so curious that she had to check it out. So, that night the blonde went to the girls' washroom on the bottom floor. When she got there she saw a line in front of a mirror in which she joined.

　　這個(gè)金發(fā)女郎對這個(gè)非常好奇，就決定去看一看。那天深夜，她來到了一樓的女衛(wèi)生間。當(dāng)她到了那里時(shí)，看見在鏡子前面有一群人在排隊(duì)，她就加人了進(jìn)去。

　　Now the rule with this magic mirror was that she who told the truth in this mirror would be granted any wish she desired, but she who told a lie in this mirror would be sucked up into the mirror and never seen again.

　　站在鏡子前面的人必須講實(shí)話，那樣的話，魔鏡就可以實(shí)現(xiàn)講話人的一個(gè)愿望。但是，如果在鏡子前面不講實(shí)話，就會(huì)被鏡子吸進(jìn)去再也出不來。

　　So the blonde watched, the first lady looked in the mirror and said，"I think I' m the most beautiful women in the world...” sssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. The next lady in line went up to the mirror and said, "I think I’m the sexiest women in the world. . .” ssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. Next the blonde went up to the mirror with total confidence and said，"I think. . .”ssssssssshhhhhhhhuuuuuuuppppp, she was sucked up into the mirror and never seen again!

　　就這樣金發(fā)女郎看著，第一個(gè)女人看著鏡子說:“我覺得我是世界上最漂亮的女人。”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻……”她被鏡子吸了進(jìn)去再也沒出來。第二個(gè)女人走到鏡子前面說:“我覺得我是世界上最性感的女人。”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻......”她也被鏡子吸進(jìn)去再?zèng)]出來。接著那個(gè)金發(fā)女郎滿懷信心地走到鏡子前面說:“我覺得……”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻……”她也被魔鏡吸了進(jìn)去再?zèng)]出來!