輕松幽默英語(yǔ)笑話三則

　　在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放松自己的心情。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)輕松幽默英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　輕松幽默英語(yǔ)笑話：誰(shuí)的兒子最偉大

　　The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."

　　The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."

　　"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.

　　" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

　　四位牧師的母親聚到一起談?wù)撍齻兊膬鹤印?ldquo;我的兒子是個(gè)教士，”第一位母親自豪地說(shuō)道，“他進(jìn)入房間，人們都說(shuō)，‘您好，閣下’。”

　　第二為母親說(shuō)：“我的兒子是位主教。他進(jìn)入房間，人們都稱，‘您好，大人’。”

　　“我的兒子是位紅衣主教，”第三位母親接著說(shuō)，“他走進(jìn)房間，人們都說(shuō)，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

　　第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十，體重三百磅，”她說(shuō)，“他要是走入房間，人們都說(shuō)‘哦，我的上帝’!”

　　輕松幽默英語(yǔ)笑話：快速服務(wù)

　　A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."

　　"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.

　　"When will they be ready?" the man asked.

　　"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.

　　That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.

　　The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.

　　Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.

　　He remembered his shoes.

　　"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.

　　"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"

　　"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.

　　"Smith," the man said.

　　"I'll go and see. They may be out back.

　　The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.

　　"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."

　　一個(gè)人把一雙鞋子拿到一家鞋店，并對(duì)修鞋匠說(shuō)，“請(qǐng)幫我修這雙鞋子。”

　　“當(dāng)然可以，先生，”鞋匠說(shuō)。

　　“什么時(shí)候能修好?”那個(gè)人問(wèn)。

　　“我有點(diǎn)忙，但到星期四我會(huì)修好鞋子的。”他說(shuō)。

　　“很好，”那人說(shuō)，并離開(kāi)了那家店。

　　第二天早上，他收到一封信，提供他一份在國(guó)外的工作。24小時(shí)內(nèi)，他登上飛機(jī)去接受那份新工作。

　　二十年過(guò)去了，他回到了故鄉(xiāng)。

　　他記起了那雙鞋。

　　“那是一雙好鞋，”他想，“我想知道鞋匠是否還在那兒，是否還有那雙鞋。我要去看看。”

　　他很高興看到鞋匠還在那家店里，雖然他已很老了。

　　“早上好，”他對(duì)鞋匠說(shuō)，“二十年前，我拿了一雙鞋子來(lái)修。你記得還有那雙鞋嗎?”

　　“名字?”老鞋匠問(wèn)。

　　“史密斯，”那人回答。

　　“我去瞧瞧，或許在后面呢。”

　　鞋匠回到店的后面去，幾分鐘后又回來(lái)了，手里提著那雙鞋子，“在這呢，”他說(shuō)，“一雙棕色的鞋子要修。我有點(diǎn)忙，但可以到星期四把鞋子修好。”

　　輕松幽默英語(yǔ)笑話：休假

　　Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.

　　If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.

　　If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.

　　He spent more time at home than he did at school.

　　On the days that he did go to school, he looked for excuses to come home early.

　　One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.

　　His father was surprised.

　　"You've come home early," he said. "Is the school closed today?"

　　"No, Dad, " Tommy said - "It's open. I came home early.

　　"How did you do that?" his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher?"

　　"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you . "

　　"But your mother has had twins," his father said, "a boy and a girl. You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."

　　"Yes, I know, Dad, " Tommy said. "I'm saving up my baby sister for next week "

　　湯姆討厭上學(xué)，總是找借口不去上學(xué)。

　　如果他打噴嚏，他就叫他媽媽寫個(gè)紙條說(shuō)他感冒了。

　　如果他頭痛，他就叫他媽媽在上課時(shí)間帶他去看病。

　　他呆在家里的時(shí)間比在學(xué)校的時(shí)間要多。

　　在他的確去上學(xué)的日子里，他就找借口早點(diǎn)回家。

　　一天早上他上了一半課就從學(xué)?；貋?lái)了。

　　他爸爸很驚訝。

　　“你回來(lái)很早，”他爸爸問(wèn)，“今天學(xué)校放學(xué)了嗎?”

　　“沒(méi)有，爸爸，”湯姆說(shuō)，“還沒(méi)放學(xué)。我提前回來(lái)了。”

　　“你怎么會(huì)提前回來(lái)了?”爸爸問(wèn)，“你對(duì)老師說(shuō)什么了?”

　　“我告訴她我有了一個(gè)小弟弟，我得回家?guī)湍恪?rdquo;

　　“但是你媽媽生了一對(duì)雙胞胎，”爸爸說(shuō)，“一個(gè)男孩，一個(gè)女孩。你有一個(gè)小弟弟和一個(gè)小妹妹。”

　　“是的，我知道，爸爸，”湯姆說(shuō)，“我要等下個(gè)星期再說(shuō)我有個(gè)小妹妹了。”