To help yourself get through the process, accept that there is nothing wrong with you, even if your emotions feel overwhelming. Remind yourself that this period will end. Tell your friends and family that while you may not be your typical self for a while, you still need their support and you will recover.

　　為了幫助自己熬過這一過程，你得接受自己沒有過錯這一點，哪怕你的情緒感覺難以抑制。提醒自己這段日子終將結(jié)束，告訴你的朋友和家人，雖然在一段時間之內(nèi)你可能不再是平常的那個自己，但是你仍然需要他們的支持，你會恢復(fù)過來的。

　　Don't make any major, permanent changes, if you can help it, such as moving to a new city. Therapy can help, so you won't have to go through the process alone. As for a new relationship -- forget about it.

　　如果可以做到的話，不要做出任何永久性的重大改變，比如搬到一座新的城市去住。接受心理治療是有幫助的，如此你就不必獨自一人熬過這一過程。至于新的一段感情──還是算了吧。

　　During what he calls his own two-year 'divorce recovery process,' Mr. Hassard revised the note on his fridge every three months or so, updating his progress and objectives. He targeted different areas, such as 'self worth,' 'facing my anger,' 'being a good parent,' 'forgiveness,' 'moving on.'

　　在哈薩德自稱的兩年“離婚恢復(fù)期”中，他每三個月左右就修改一下冰箱上的紙條，更新自己的進展和目標(biāo)。他的紙條針對不同方面的目標(biāo)，比如：“自我價值”、“正視我的憤怒”、“做一名好家長”、“寬宏大量”、“繼續(xù)前進”。

　　'If you don't rewrite your goals,' says Mr. Hassard, who has since moved to Centerville, Utah, 'they start to become invisible.'

　　后來遷居猶他州森特維爾(Centerville)的哈薩德說：“如果你不重新改寫目標(biāo)，它們就開始變得不清晰了。”

　　Sometimes small decisions tripped him up, such as which side of the bed to sleep on, or whom to call at the end of a good day. He kept a journal, burning his most bitter entries on the backyard barbecue grill. He sometimes cried or yelled while commuting alone in his car, rolling down the windows or dropping the convertible top to 'let it all blow out behind you.' He waited more than a year to start dating, until he noticed himself 'looking for good things instead of trying to avoid the bad.'

　　有時，一些小的決定就會難倒他，比如在床的哪一邊睡覺，或者美好的一天結(jié)束時給誰打電話。他記日記，然后在后院的燒烤架上把其中最痛苦的內(nèi)容燒掉。有時一個人開車上下班時他會大哭大叫，搖下車窗或打開折疊敞篷“任其在自己身后兜風(fēng)鼓脹”。他等了一年多，直到他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己是“在尋找美好的事物而不是試圖躲避壞事”了才開始約會。

　　One night, when the two years were up, Mr. Hassard held a celebration. While the kids were at a slumber party, he cooked himself his favorite meal -- bacon-wrapped chicken, green-bean casserole and garlic toast -- and opened a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

　　兩年時間滿了的時候，哈薩德在一個夜晚舉辦了慶祝會。當(dāng)孩子們在享受睡衣晚會的時候，他給自己做了最愛吃的一頓飯──培根雞肉卷、奶油蘑菇烤四季豆和蒜香吐司──還開了一瓶灰比諾葡萄酒。

　　Watching the sunset from his back porch, he assessed his progress and asked: 'Am I done?' The answer, he says, was 'Yes.'

　　哈薩德一邊在自家屋后門廊看著日落，一邊評估自己的進展。他自問道：“我恢復(fù)了嗎?”他說，答案是“是的”。

　　'The finish line is only metaphorical until you make it real,' he says. 'And I got there.'

　　他說：“在你真正到達終點線之前，這條線只是一個象征性的存在。最終我到達了終點線。”